The right balance between love and common sense

One of my friends recently got a very prestigious and expensive scarf from a boutique in Paris. Sadly her sister did not consider the style and the colors that she likes dooming the unfortunate present to the sad future in the abyss of the things we never wear but cannot dispose of them either. Her sister gave her this gift in front of friends and family so my friend did not say anything to her. Should she have told her sister that her gift was thoughtful but she would not wear it? Should she have asked her to exchange it? How to make sense of something like this and move on? This wasn't the first time that my friend was in this place with her sister and won't be the last my friend said.
We all probably have at least one close friend or a family member who seems to not understand basic things about us. I do. My aunt is like that. She gave me a massive golden ring on one occasion and when I see her I must wear it, so she wouldn't ask me “why you are not wearing the ring I gave you?”… My friend (who is a pilot) told me that he saw my ring from his air-plane cabin while descending over the city and knew right away that I was meeting my aunt that day.
Joking aside, it is both frustrating and sad when such things tip the balance of reciprocity any human relationship requires in order to be harmonious and fulfilling. The predicament is even more challenging when the person in question is our close family member and we cannot just shut him or her off. Years pass by and this particular person again and again does things that offend the feeling of balance in us and we just cannot deal with this and move on.
All relationships are like life itself – dynamic; never static. We can and should at least try and balance the things that are out of balance in our daily life and make such sad relationships evolve and be more harmonious. For example I have tried many times to change my aunt’s behaviour that lacks common sense and sometimes is plain offensive. Well, I am still trying. She isn't a bad person. On the contrary she is always ready to offer her help or advice or a “nice” present when occasion is present. She doesn't get my taste for… well anything really. But when I think of the world where I may weak up tomorrow and she isn't in it – all her imperfections seam somewhat unimportant. 
When I see the things from that particular angle – I wonder if the missbalance isn’t partly my responsibility. Am I not too focused on the fact that I give (or take) more in my relationships with the people closest to me? Am I trying to just put myself into to the other person’s shoes?
Life isn't perfect but it’s too short to focus on its imperfections. 
Moving on…