The strong, successful, middle-aged woman’s trepidation

When a single, good looking, successful woman in her early thirties finds on the Internet a heterosexual male with a job, single, willing to discuss his feelings and even shares his future plans of having a family and children, this naturally has a profound impact on her.

She takes an unplanned (urgent) vacation in the middle of a very important work project, gets on the first possible flight to meet him on a different continent. Even if he resides on a different planet, she will find a way to meet the male in question because such males are but extinct species on this planet.

The marvels of the Internet are one thing, the physical contact is still unmatched by the current technology. And, when it comes to evaluating the suitability of a male for possible husband material, the risks of such endeavors seem miniscule in comparison to the reward of “not being alone every night when I come back home crawling from work to have another take out dinner with the customary double scotch”. Typically the encounter is a disappointment if not a disaster but in rear cases it could turn to be the “real deal”.

We all have heard about dating websites that matched successfully couples who then married and lived happily ever after. In the media there are numerous happy end stories about the risk takers who plunge to swim or drown into the deep waters of extreme dating.

The way I see it is that if there is a male in his late thirties who is heterosexual, has a good paying job and is available for marriage – there are limited reasons for this situation to exist. None of these reasons are pleasant or pretty. On the other hand, researches show that people do not change too much emotionally or character wise after the age of twenty one.

I believe that, when it comes to any relationships it is all about the reciprocity and the art of balance. Give enough and receive enough. If you give too much - you will soon be left with little or nothing. If you take too much – soon little or nothing will be left for you to receive. And then there is a certain tipping point when there is too much misbalance when the relationship heads to the ground like an airplane with a comatose pilot and finally the relationship crashes and burns.

The symptoms of a relationship headed for a disaster are somehow indistinguishable in the everyday calamities of today’s busy world. Relationships are also about compromising. All parties in a relationship inevitably make compromises. When one party though is at the compromising side most of the time, such relationship will most probably crash somewhere along the way.

I have no answer if one should travel long distances or spend much of ones time in effort to be in a relationship or spend some time to learn how to recognize the symptoms of a potentially rotten relationship. Definitely I do not think that a strong, successful, middle-aged woman should let the fight-or-flight response the acute stress of a woman who fears that a husbandless, childless future is imminent to decide her destiny.

If I knew the answers to her enigma I would be a wealthy guru advising such women. Their number is mounting due to the social, economical and technical progress. So, I can only admire them when I meet them.